You and Me! We're Perfectly Imperfect ♥

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

How often do you look in the mirror and feel a sense of disgust? or see a picture of yourself and ask in horror if thats really what you look like?

Well I’m one of those people. It’s a horrible, horrible trait and habit that I really want to be able to break apart from. And that’s what I’m doing, starting today!

I’m done living behind this shadow of “what, ideally, is perfection” because I’m not perfect, and that’s okay! That is so okay! Who cares what people think. I often find myself not being the real me. Now that’s not necessarily because I’m trying to be someone else, but it’s because I feel like I’m holding my true self back. Why do I do that? It's because I have such a hard time dealing with what people will think of me. I worry way too much about what people will think or what they will say. It shouldn’t be that way! I am who I am and I only get one shot at doing so-so why not embrace it full force? Yeah I may not be the perfect body size, My eyebrows are definitely not on fleek, My hair is messy, I may not be societies idea of beautiful, I'm awkward, I’m shy, My laugh is horrible, and I do the most weird things without thinking about it. But why do I try to hold that back? Why would I keep myself from laughing so hard that I literally drop to the floor just because I don’t want to people to hear the way that I laugh or see the way I react? Laughter is the most beautiful and most contagious thing in the world so why wouldn’t I share mine. If someones going to like me, they’re going to like me for me, not based on the way that I laugh, or the way that I look, or the way that I am. If they don’t like that then there is no need for them in my life. I shouldn’t have to feel like I have to keep trying to fit this idea of what people think of me. I often find myself simply holding back from posting a selfie because I think "will people think that’s really vain? or they don’t see me as the selfie kind?" But I want to post that selfie! No matter if others don’t like it, I want to post it because I like it and because I felt good when I took that picture! 

So here I am posting my first ever unedited selfie to the internet. No makeup, just me and my flaws. And quite frankly, I like it :) 


*Today my graphics 101 professor opened up our assignments in front of the class. This assignment consisted of us working with a selfie of ourself. I thought long and hard about this all last night and I really wanted to try this "new thing" out so I went with a positive attitude to school today. I had no idea that my professor would be showing the class our work. I was the first one that he showed and before he did I told myself that it was okay and that I don't have to worry about what others may think. Usually I'd be internally panicking because my picture was up on the board for everyone to see. But you know what, MY PICTURE WAS UP ON THE BOARD FOR EVERYONE TO SEE :D and they laughed, they thought that the morphed picture of me was hilarious and I thought so too :'D I thought it was funny and hearing others laugh made me laugh, they thought the picture was awesome. This just comes to show that no one really ever pays too much attention to the things that you think they pay attention to. Truth is they're more focused on something else. Like enjoying what's infront of them and you should be able to do that too. Take things light heartedly and stop worrying, just laugh it out. Life shouldn't be taken so seriously, learn to enjoy the little things and don't let them get to you. All worrying does is waste your time. So why worry when you can look at life in a positive note and add minutes to your life by laughing things out. 

I'll just leave this here for you ;)  

What inspired this post was my newest video. I was a little hesitant about posting it when editing it because I thought I looked "weird"and honestly I thought I looked "ugly". You may notice that I stop myself from laughing or that I'm a bit awkward in the video and that's specifically because of the way that I felt when I filmed it. I didn't feel beautiful, which is what made me act this way. But I came to the realization that - that's who I am, thats what I look like everyday, and I shouldn't have to feel bad about it. I'm really glad that something as simple as this opened my eyes <3 


I'm really proud of myself for taking this step towards loving myself and for allowing myself to be vulnerable and share this with you guys in hope that it will help you to love yourself as well. 
I hope you join me on this new journey of loving yourself completely. Because you are beautiful and you're not perfect; no one is. So don't be afraid to be you. 

**You know, I've had the same profile picture for all my social medias now for about 2-3 years because I haven't been able to find one that I feel beautiful in and that picture was heavily edited with filters. But I'm ready to break free from that. 

"Never change who you are so that other people will like you, just be yourself and the right people will love you just for being you"

xoxo,
Crystal  

11 comments:

  1. *GIVES MASSIVE HUG* I am so so very proud of you Crystal!!! It's such hard, painful and beautiful step to do and you did it... excuse my language but you fuckin' did it and you are and look so damn beautiful! I love you because you have such a heart of gold, that you're shy and awkward and the more I get to know you the more I can't wait to meet you in real life!!! <3 There is something so special and powerful in learning to own who you are and that is always a continuing learning curve. I can find myself disconnected to people at times because of my awkwardness and so it makes it really amazing when I meet people that are just as awkward or accepting of it. Plus it makes us that much more entertaining, exciting and well maybe mysterious?!?! lol Someone once told me we are our own worst critics and the things we notice about ourselves others don't or they don't mind or they are the things that they like about us and it's so true. If people don't like you for who you are screw them, it's their loss. It fascinates me and something I struggled with when I was younger and still sometimes now how we can take for granted the people who love us and spend so long trying to impress others when in reality if someone doesn't want to get to know you or like you that's ok. I am beyond proud, inspired and empowered by you Crystal you truly are just a beautifully gorgeous being! *Totally shed a tear reading this too* <3 xoxo

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    1. *Hugs right back!* (>^.^)><(^.^<)....I genuinely cried because of your overwhelming support :') Thank you so much Rainbow! It's taken me so long to accept it and I finally feel free!! I honestly feel like I've had this huge weight lifted off my shoulders, I feel happy :) <3 I'm not afraid to be me anymore.I've felt so distant from myself and its almost like I was finally able to reconnect those two pieces and realize how beautiful it is to love you. Aww, Rainbow thank you so much! I honestly can't wait to meet you either, you are one of the big inspirations for doing this as well. Your blog always makes me want to do better for myself and to love myself for all its flaws. Plus you're just awesome! :D and I can't wait to hang out with you one day so that we can sing karaoke songs and suck at it so badly but hey 'Girls just gotta have fun' ;) That is so true! I mean just put yourself into perspective, you don't go around and notice every little detail on someone else so what are the odds that someone else will? Yes! That is so true. I feel like that's something that we all have to learn as we grow older because when we're younger we're kind of taught that the way you make friends is if you impress them so maybe by having a cool pencil or being the kid with gum but as we grow older we start to realize that that's not important at all and if someone is going to like you it should be for you. Those friendships are so much more meaningful. Thank you so so much! Your comment meant the world to me and was the perfect way to wake up <3 Have a tremendously beautiful day Rainbow! :) <3

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    2. <3 You truly are amazing Crystal! I feel beyond humbled to have inspired you in that way so thank YOU! <3 Thank you and I hope you have a tremendously beautiful day too! <3 <3 <3 *Like no amount of love hearts will ever do this post and comments justice... but I'll try anyway* ;) <3 <3 <3

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  2. Yayyy!!! I absolutely love this, Crystal!! The very first thing I noticed when coming to your page today was the picture of yourself on the sidebar. I love it!! You are beautiful, and I totally know how scary it can be to open yourself up on the internet. As I've mentioned, I created several blogs and hid behind them because I was so scared of what others think. To a degree - I still am! It definitely took some time before I freely shared the blog. It takes some getting used to but in the end, you feel so much more "free". So proud of you! :D

    ~Lor @ cozycomfyhome.com

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    1. Thank you so much Lor!! Your's and Rainbows comments have honestly made me cry, in a very good way because I feel so happy right now. Your support means the world to me <3 :D Aww thank you <3 It's kind of weird coming onto my blog and seeing me there and not the picture of the little Daisy haha but you know it feels good :D I feel like i've finally broken free from this big wall that was holding me back. I'm so glad that you were able to do that and that you didn't keep yourself from continuing your blog because of fear of others. I love your blog so much! It's like catching up with a friend and seeing how her week has gone :D and I love that!! It definitely does. Thank you so so much Lor. I hope you have an amazingly awesome day :) <3

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  3. Crystal !!! I think it's brilliant you're taking these steps towards self love I have so so much respect for you right now :) I couldn't be prouder and I'm really looking forward to watching you new video tomorrow when I'm doing my hair for college ( My allocated youtube time especially to catch up on yours and Rainbows amazing videos hehe ) I'm sure you're wonderful in and sometimes you need to feel that way to push you to have a fresh start and give yourself the love and respect you deserve ! I think I'll definitely give joining you a go and me and you can take on the world with our wonderful selves yeah ?

    Lots of love, Marianne xxx

    http://myhappybubblexx.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Hey Marianne :) Thank you so so much <3 You and Rainbow have both been a huge inspiration in me wanting to move towards a more positive light :) <3 Both of you bring so much positivity in my life simply through your blogs. So your support means the world to me! Haha :D sounds like a good time to catch up on youtube vids. Aww thanks :') yes! it definitely takes some time to reach the point where you realize that you're just as important and your love for yourself is the most important of all. Yes!! :D Let's take on the world together!! <3

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  4. I think you're beautiful Crystal. :)
    I could definitely relate to how you feel. For the longest time I have been self conscious. I use to tell myself that I would love me when my skin is clear but I've realized that it's most important to love myself now , though my imperfections. When the "curvy woman movement" started, I felt like I had to find a way to gain some weight fast. Then I realized I shouldn't stress too much about that, just work on eating a balanced diet and just love my body the way it is now. I thought my awkwardness was a phase , I now think it's part of my personality but I'm becoming ok with it. I think being awkward makes us human and keeps us humble. It's good to surround yourself with people who love you for who you are ( and are just as awkward as you are , haha). I still haven't quite gotten completely over these insecurities but I've gotten to the point where I won't let them over rule my life. I have started to love myself though. I've heard a quote that says something like the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday. Good luck my friend. :)

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    1. Thank you so much <3
      I know it can be really tough to love yourself when you feel like you have all these imperfections and that the only way you can love yourself is if they're all gone. I'm so glad you realized that now! Sometimes all it takes is for you to love yourself to look past those imperfections. It's something that a lot of people go through, even the "ideal perfect people." I think it just runs in our minds, we are always constantly trying to reach for something that we can't. I'm so glad that the "curvy woman movement" started because it gives woman the ability to be more confident in themselves. But the bad thing about it is that you have all these people that take it way too far and start saying that if you're not curvy then whats the point. That's not true though, what this movement should be about is that all woman; no matter the size, you are beautiful and you are you. Yes, working towards being healthier should always be the reason, not because you feel like you have to do it to fit in. For me, I feel that I have to lose weight in order to feel like I fit in, but like you said it's much more important to work on your health. Yeah :) Awkwardness is not something that you can help, it's just simply there and its part of who you are. You said that so perfectly! :D I'm so happy for you and that you are now learning to love yourself <3 It's not and say process, theres a lot of ups and downs but you'll get there ;) Yes, that quote is so true you should only achieve to do better then yourself because no one is the same and no one goes through the same exact struggles as you. Good luck to you as well my friend <3 :)

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  5. Crystal, I think you need to change your way of thinking. You are truly beautiful and I think you're starting to see that too-you changed your profile picture because you feel good about yourself and that is absolutely the right thing to do. Your smile is just adorable BTW. When I saw myself in the mirror I found so many insecurities that brought me down every single day. I still don't like to watch people in the eyes because I don't like for them to stare at me too because then I feel like there's something wrong with me. But I am done with that. I think life's too short to be concentrating on all the bad things. If everyone around you thinks you're perfect and beautiful and funny, then you should feel that way. You look great in this picture. Remember that you're the only one that sees flaws on you, everyone else thinks you're just a normal girl who's enjoying life. Have a lovely day :D

    LEJA

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    1. Leja! Your post really made me think about the way I look at myself. You're right! Life is too short to waste your time trying to fit a perfect mold for everyone else. You are seriously so sweet :') Thank you so much! <3 You just made my day 10 times brighter. I think that you are absolutely beautiful as well. Which makes what you said true. We are the only one who see our flaws and pin point everything bad about ourselves to make ourselves feel worse. But there is no point in continuing to feel that way about ourselves. It our life and we should be enjoying it like everyone else and not wasting it trying to be liked by people who don't even know who we really are. I hope you have a beautiful day as well. Thank you so much for the lovely comment :)

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